Let It Out And Get Inside Your Head
I'm not the best communicator with my wife. I think I'm pretty good a listening and sometimes I even have some pretty good feedback. But I don't always share what's going on in my head. Sometimes that's because even I have trouble figuring out exactly what's going on in there. But things have actually gotten better since our son was born.
One day as we we're packing for a day trip my wife said something along the lines of, "Do you know what it's like trying to plan around his life? I have to think about when he needs to eat, how many times he's going to need to be changed, how hot or cold he is going to be. It's exhausting.".
YES! I know exactly what it's like. Sometimes it's thinking about our son, or her, or my parents, or her parents, or our friends, or work, or the bills, or our bank account, and that's when things are going smoothly. My mind is always racing, but it was nice to hear hers was too. I didn't share all that was going on in my head because I didn't want to burden her with it. I wanted to protect her from the swirling tornado of thoughts that goes on in there all the time. Okay, maybe not when I'm watching football, but heck she escapes into Grey's Anatomy. But I digress.
Before our son came along, I don't know if she really understood how my mind works. But hearing her verbalize the sense of overwhelm I'd felt on several occasions helped. It helped me realize that I could let her know what was going on without fearing that some dam would burst drowning her in worry. And getting to speak the thoughts out loud helped make them a little easier to deal with.
If you've read this far, chances are you've shared the feeling at one time or another. Maybe you're feeling it right now. But you can't keep it all in without eventually having that dam burst. Here at the Dad Habit we're happy to help you voice your thoughts out loud, but if you're lucky enough to be going on the journey of parenthood with someone else then let them in a little. Include them in your thoughts. Tell them about this cool new group of Dads you've stumbled upon. Tell them how and why you've stumbled upon it. Telling that person may be the first time you've forced yourself to think about it.
Let us know how it goes. And leave a comment letting us know what you find to be the hardest things to talk about with someone else or what thoughts are constantly swirling around your own head.